The truth is buried. This is the norm. This is the nature of appearances. Keeping them up. We have an obsession with appearances...I don't know if it's just me. I don't see things the same as you. I haven't even liked people since I've been an adult. Everything has felt like shit since I was around 11 years old. I don't know what started it. I don't know the truth. I suspect lies. I try to see through the bullshit on TV, but I just end up turning away because of the sick feeling that I get watching people fake it all the time. I can see it aging them prematurely.  I can see the truth beneath the make-up caked faces and the laser whitened teeth. Does this mean that I'm special? Does this mean that the circus is really going to continue for a thousand years? Are we going to have another 300 or so actors make it to AAA status!?!? Are we going to continuously lie to our children? I don't know. I'm not going to lie to mine. I guess that means I'm a monster.

I don't want any more people to get hurt. I'm sick of watching people die in movies...all needlessly violent and melodramatic. In the end...it is spellbinding. The way they keep churning it all out...endlessly and without remorse. Rage against the machine indeed...

it is automated                                 it is a machine

the board room meeting is set for 9:00am

bring us your presentation and lets hear your pitch...

Always we are watching...judging and pretending.
Never are we doing unless we are doing something wrong in the eyes of those watching us. We've been graded since birth...and it is up to us to throw off the veil...or be smothered by it. We are doomed either way...our deaths assured already. I want to live with open eyes. I want to live free.

I thought I had achieved that...but it was only an illusion. I was helping those in need at the time...but they didn't care about me. They didn't care ever.  Everyone who does care about me hopes I will wake up and  be different tomorrow. Less angry...less dissatisfied with the way things have moved in the world. The way people have gone quiet. The way it seems that they'll cut you down if you start to climb while they're watching.

I thought I could do it in secret...but its too late. they've already seen me and I'm out here naked and shameless. I'm not ashamed...but I'm sick of people expecting things of me. I'm sick of being told what the way is...and how to frame my argument. I'm disgusted with common sense. I'm revolted by the way they tease us all with wealth that we can never keep.  I can't stand money. It's gotten us in a lot of trouble. And we are not doing as good as they want you to believe.

They want you to think that they are infallible.

I don't know why...but that is their aim.
to be masters of every thing they can imagine...
To control.
To manipulate

We are all renters...and the landlord hates us for being there...resenting the fact that he needs us to provide for him...he takes it out on us...punishing instead of nurturing. Always lashing out. Always hurting...until we snap...break...collapse from the effort of trying to impress everyone.
We never know who's watching.
We never know shit.
We are still in the cave that Plato told us about.